"My parents had a very good relationship," I often hear my clients say. "What do you mean by good?" I ask. "They didn't fight. They spent a lot of time with each other." That may have been the definition of a good relationship years ago, but now most people want more. Following are ten signs of a healthy relationship. 1. Kindness Is kindness more important to each of you than having your way, being in control, or being right? Do you each receive joy out of being kind to each other? Being kind rather than controlling with each other is ... Read More ...

One of the most common complaints I receive in my relationship counseling work is "We hardly ever have sex." Since you might be addicted to the anger and complaining around this issue, I want to make sure you do ALL the right things so you get to continue being angry and complaining about it. Be Angry and Complain Given that anger and complaining are not at all erotic, be sure to continue to be angry and complain about the lack of sex. Your anger and complaints are SURE to turn your partner off. Approach Your Partner Needy Both men and ... Read More ...

"I've waited so long for love to come into my life, yet now that it's here, I'm depressed. I can't figure this out," complained Elayne in one of our phone counseling sessions. "Todd is really terrific. He's all I've been wanting in a man, open, caring, and emotionally available. I really think there is something wrong with me." "When did you start to feel depressed?" I asked. "Well, I think it started last week right after we spent a wonderful weekend together." "What happened after the weekend?" "It was Sunday evening. We had just come back from an early dinner, ... Read More ...