Dating Advice

How to Work a Room

Are you single and want more dates? Do you know how to work a room? Do you go to social functions and find yourself unable to make small talk? Do you hate the idea of going somewhere and trying to meet someone new?

Working a room takes technique and courage. If you answered yes to the above, you are not alone. Going to new places and meeting new people is the idea of torture to some singles. If you want to be successful at dating however, you need to think about these five tips:

Remember–you can’t be rejected

Working a room and meeting people to date is a huge challenge. Most singles do not want to reach out to people because they fear rejection. If you could shift that notion of being labeled as a loser if someone does not talk to you, to seeing yourself as a brave risk taker, the whole idea of being friendly would take on another dimension. If someone is not friendly, move away and start over. You have people to meet who do want to talk to you and you don’t want to focus your energy on the people who are not kind.

What’s your brand?

Every good marketing person knows that you need to have a brand to be remembered. Before you go out, think about what makes you unique. This identification is important whether you are meeting people for the first time or you are dating on the internet. I have coached countless people who could not grasp this concept. They didn’t understand that giving their name, city and job title was ordinary. It isn’t memorable if you are in a large group of people. Find some humor or some characteristic that makes you different from everyone else. Example: “My name is John Doe, I’m an engineer, and I know that sounds pretty unimportant, but to impress you, I will mention that I was president of my 4th grade class.”

Look for a friendly face

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Sometimes, you need a little preparation before you start to work a room. Find someone who looks more like a Mary Poppins than a Dracula. If it seems appropriate, ask them if they know any of the people there and let them introduce you to others. Often, the best way to meet someone is through the help of a friendly person.

Easy on the drinks

Social situations can make you tense. Unless you are aware of being nervous and unless you consciously monitor yourself, you might be tempted to overindulge on alcohol. Eat something before you go out and keep the drinking below your average minimum so you are not in danger of embarrassing yourself.

Remember to reach out

When you get there, scan the room to see who you want to talk to. Move near the person you have picked out, ask a question, continue the conversation if they seem interested and interesting, and exchange contact information if you want to see them again.

Lose the old tapes in your mind that say you can’t find someone to date. What you need to do is get out more. What you need to do is work the room. You can do it.

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