My Partner is Not Romantic

Question:

I’m more romantic than my partner. Examples: I make them breakfast in bed, gifts for anniversaries, hint when I want to cuddle or make love, etc. She never seems to act on instinct as I do. She really hasn’t surprised me with a romantic evening (I’m talking the works). This is really getting me down.

Shawna’s Answer:

It sounds like you’re a really wonderful man who can’t seem to get his hints or needs met. Treating people well is so wonderful, and the best way to have a relationship, but can get old if only one partner is doing all the treating well part. Some people don’t think romantically and some are either lazy or selfish but since I don’t know your partner I can only say that you have several things you can try.

Here’s the best and hardest but most effective:

Talk to your partner about your needs and ask for these kindness to be done. I know that this somewhat spoils it if you were expecting thoughtfulness to just spring forth from love, but reality could be that this person is clueless to what makes you happy and no amount of hinting can do what a good conversation can. Be warm, loving, don’t make the other person wrong and ask them for breakfast in bed every other Sunday or that they plan a date or romantic get away one night a month. Lovingly remind them about it and you will begin to build the kind of relationship you want.

Have patience and work at good communication and it will happen!