Just for Men

Be Irresistable to Women

I refer to what I call the “Big Four” quite a bit. Yet, it has occurred to me that I’ve never devoted an article to making sure you’ve got the exact concept I’m talking about down with pinpoint accuracy.

“It’s about freakin’ time”, someone said. And I have no arguments for you there.

Better late than never though. So let’s fix the situation.

The “Big Four”, in principle, are the most basic, fundamental factors that decide whether a woman is attracted to you or not.

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Get them right, and women WILL respond powerfully to you. Ignore them (or worse?be ignorant OF them) and you could spend the rest of your life wondering what the problem is.

So obviously, this is one of the more important newsletters I’ve written to you.

Before I break down the “Big Four” for you, I want to offer a sincere caveat: There is NO WAY this newsletter is going to cover every single nuance of what these concepts entail.

That’s fine for now, because my goal in writing to you today is not to cover minute details but rather to give you a “big picture” view that provides a valid framework to work with as you discover more and more how to deserve what you want.

After all, quite literally everything I talk about or write about hinges on the “Big Four”.

So with out any further intro, here they are:

  1. Masculinity
  2. Last time we talked about how to “man up” in exactly the way women want us to. That’s the first component of the “Big Four”.

    Men and women are designed to attract each other. This is so fundamentally simple a concept, yet one that is so easily clouded in today’s world.

    Men are softening their demeanors, taking the edge off the strength that inherently makes them men. Instead, they are giving in to temptation to become more feminine in the name of “sensitivity”.

    You, as a man who desires feminine, attractive women must absolutely, positively resist feminization of your personality and of your lifestyle.

    If you read that as “being insensitive” or in any other misogynistic way, you’ve been hornswaggled, hoodwinked, bamboozled, flimflammed and any other synonym for “deceived” that you’ve ever heard in an old cartoon before.


    Being masculine is NOT synonymous with acting like some under-evolved “caveman” who rapes, pillages and is otherwise responsible for every form of pain on Earth.

    Be the guy who leads, plans, protects and decides like a man. Put aside “softness” and “weakness” while retaining heartfelt benevolence towards all.

    And watch as women become drawn to you like a magnet to steel.

  3. Confidence
  4. If you know what you want, and fail to take action because of fear or indecision, then you are-by definition-lacking confidence.

    A woman wants a man who leads, and contrary to what you may have heard elsewhere she wants a man who takes charge of his own destiny and SELECTS her.

    That’s right, YOU SHOULD BE THE CHOOSER. Offloading that responsibility onto women, or dismissing it entirely as mythical is a COP OUT.

    As a man who is comfortable in the fact that he deserves what he wants, your inner-game must be together enough for you to ACT UPON that.

    In concept, confidence is nothing more complicated than a firmly held belief in your ability to succeed at a high level while dismissing the possibility of failure (preferably entirely).

    So at the baseline, confidence is absolutely necessary in order for you to even meet the women you want, let alone demonstrate your ability to provide a balanced environment for the relationship to grow in.

    This segues nicely into the next factor?

  5. Inspiring Confidence
  6. Once you’ve achieved a level of confidence that enables a woman to believe in you the way you believe in yourself (which carries an important cause/effect relationship) then you are ready to affect something in your relationships with MOTOS (Members Of The Opposite Sex) that is intensely powerful.

    It’s like this: Women want SAFETY.

    Unfortunately, the man women most need to be protected from is the ONE THEY’RE WITH.

    If you drive like a maniac when she’s riding shotgun, openly flirt with other women in her presence, waffle over decisions, have absolutely zero ambition and have no clue what to do with her when you pick her up (let alone when it’s TIME TO KISS HER), guess what? She’ll have no sense of stability around you.

    Not knowing what to expect next is fun for women when it comes to special surprises, unannounced plans and other such lightweight moments that contribute to “being unpredictable”.

    And granted, if you are boring and unexciting that’s NO FUN for women. In fact, it could be argued effectively that “Being Fun and Interesting” could have made this list a “Big Five”.

    But what we’re covering here is something deeper. YOU are like a bastion of strength, no matter what happens or when it happens.

    This builds the all-important measure of trust in her heart and mind.

    When you have successfully caused a woman to believe in you the way you believe in yourself-no matter what the situation-then you have succeeded at INSPIRING CONFIDENCE. She can rest in your presence. Without that, she’ll resent you–if not become flatly repulsed.

  7. Character
  8. This is one of the most misunderstood terms in the English language.

    Don’t kid yourself. “Character” is not to be confused with “being a character”.

    Simply putting away routines and openers does NOT equal “character-based” seduction like some “natural game” proponents would have you believe.

    “Character” is rock-solid stability at your very core. It’s doing what’s right simply because it’s the right thing to do, not because of “what’s in it for you”.

    A man of character promises only what he is capable of delivering, and often delivers more than he promises out of sheer overachievement.

    He does what he says he is going to do, and avoids deception.

    He is all about building others up rather than tearing them down in a weak attempt to make himself appear “better”. The man of character realizes that’s neither ethical nor effective, even.

    Mostly, the man of character has his identity figured out and his conscience is okay with that. And when that’s all set, you’ll NEVER, EVER have to ask “What do I do next?” “Character” is “seductive” by definition.

Do you get the sense that each separate component of the “Big Four” is in fact the component of a larger, cohesive concept? If so, then YES?you are 100% correct. It’s very much as if they each contribute to and are in fact are amplified by one another.

And that “larger concept” is, in case you haven’t figured it out, HOW TO BE A GREAT MAN.

And GREAT MEN attract and deserve GREAT WOMEN.

What it all comes down to is this: A GREAT WOMAN wants a man who has his part covered so that she can be FREED UP to be the feminine woman she was born to be. You make her feel like a woman, and you are that man.

Miss out on that, and it’s back to sitting around figuring out how two neuter creatures are supposed to attract each other?which of course is a pointless exercise. Unless, of course, you’re okay with a neuter woman. Or one who “wears the pants”.

But I’m telling you, show me a woman who “wears the pants” and I’ll show you a BITTER woman, not a BETTER woman.

So why make her do both jobs? Why make her fulfill upon the masculine and the feminine?

Or are you really okay with having the feminine part covered yourself?

If so, good luck with that.

But my vision for you is much, much more noble than that. All you have to do is visualize it for yourself.

That’s fine for now, because my goal in writing to you today is not to cover minute details but rather to give you a “big picture” view that provides a valid framework to work with as you discover more and more how to deserve what you want.
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Scot McKay

Scot McKay is a professional dating and relationship coach, author and podcast host. He founded X & Y Communications in San Antonio, TX, which focuses on equipping and empowering men and women who want to go from good to great in their relationships. Scot is now married to his wife Emily.

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