Just for Women

How to Let Him Know You’re Interested

  1. Smiling is essential for a man who has sensitivity. Without a smile he assumes you’re not interested and he doesn’t want to be pushy or risk a rude put-down.
  2. Eye contact that lasts just a little longer than is comfortable. Watch how you want to drop your eyes when you look at a man you find attractive. Begin to allow that look to linger…just a little longer, with a hint of a smile. Definitely sends a message but yet keeps it feminine, which men love.
  3. In conversation, touch his arm a couple of times. That breaks that barrier and releases the tension that’s caused when two people are attracted but not quite sure where they stand. Do it casually in conversation, maybe laughing at something he’s said. Just lean into that laugh and touch his forearm, in a way that says, “Oh you silly, that’s very funny.” If you’re not sure, watch how other women do it. It should be absolutely natural. Practice on friends. Actually, practice all these things, the smiling, the eye contact and touching on people with whom there is no pressure, people you are not attracted to.
  4. Ask questions that get men to talk about themselves…then listen. The best conversationalist is a good listener.
  5. Online, the same thing about listening applies. Ask great questions then appreciate them for sharing.
  6. Online and in general, don’t go into very much detail about your crazy side, if you have one. A man doesn’t want to think you turn into a monster before your period, or that you can’t get along with anyone. What men are looking for are attractive women (you don’t know how un-fussy they are), who are happy, self-assured, comfortable with themselves, and enjoy being women. That’s all. Oh yes, and a woman who isn’t angry at men, appreciates them, and makes them feel special and needed…like a man.
  7. Online and in general, don’t ever be crass unless you want to be treated disrespectfully. Don’t swear and don’t lose control. Be a lady and you’ll go far.
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Kara Oh

Kara Oh is the creator of AliveWithLove.com, and author of "Men Made Easy" - discover what's going on inside his head and what it takes to win his heart!

4 thoughts on “How to Let Him Know You’re Interested

  • Deborah

    In Response to Warun

    1.OK. I get women who smile all the time. To me that’s just saying there friendly. Not interested.

    My Reply:

    But if someone never smiles at you they are not interested in you either.

    2.Um…No. That tells me nothing. Shes spooking me. Not good enough to let someone know.

    My Reply:

    She wasn’t speaking of smiling but HOW to smile.
    A person who smiles at you could be “Just be friendly” or she could like you who knows. But a woman who lowers her head slightly and looks up through her eyelashes with a slight smile definiatly likes you.
    And that spooks you?
    This is why you want a woman to be so direct because you are missing the subtle sign.

    You women need to know this. Guys do NOT know your intention. They think your being friendly to and not to do anything physical with you.
    Did you ever stop an think “How does a man approach you?”

    My Reply:

    Yes and if a man says he wants to get physical with me he never will. To a woman this is crude and most men feel the same way.
    She isn’t speaking of how to get a man to pick you up. Most women can without instructions

    Think of it like this. A man is a Big child who only knows pain in there life’s. You show some happiness to them an they eat it up. They love being around someone who makes them happy.

    My Reply:

    Not every man is like a child and only knows pain. No one can make someone happy, we all have to rely on ourselves for that.

    The easiest one is inappropriate for this forum i believe. but it is ” I want to F%*&@@ you.” And yes that will do it for an oblivious man.

    My Reply:
    Is that all you think about. You are pretty sad and aa big turn off.

    I don’t mean to be rude but take a look at your writing.

    A man is a Big child who only knows pain in there life’s

    That should say either :

    Men are big children who only know pain in their lives

    Or

    A man is a big child who only knows pain in his life

    There are many more like this.
    The reason I bring this up is because it shows you don’t care how you present yourself.

  • I have never heard such horses### in my life! LMAO. I had to stop twice to laugh. I couldn’t help myself. It is not up to women to be more direct. It is up to men to LEARN the difference between being friendly and sending a signal of availability. We no longer care how you were raised. That excuse is getting really old. There is nothing stopping your brain from learning now what you missed then. This a skill a man should get by practise.

    Conversely I don’t buy some of the advice I have read about dating tips for women. If you read them in their totality what it says is follow the same old feminine stereotype by faking it, especially at the onset of a relationship. In essence, lie. The contradiction of “it should natural” but “practise it” is absurd. And, is a lie. I think you guys need to do three things to better your chances. (1) if you want genuine, then accept it (no fake Barbie doll crap) (2) talk to us like we are real people (and we will act accordingly) and (3) learn what your father and friends never taught you by getting rid of these ‘rules’ and learning what you need to know naturally, by experience.

  • wow… Warun, you’re trying to turn girls into desperadas?
    i mean, seriously, there is such thing in this world as an ‘ewww’ affect. Men and women both get it.

    Anythin that is chased will run. Make a man known you’re willing to chase will give him the idea to run. With all that saying of ‘I want to *u*k you’ i swear the man will run for his life.

    Subtle hints are meant to be subtle… and if the guy is really into the girl, he will get those subtle hints because he wants to!

  • Warun

    Um……. OK just from the original post let me say this. Your gonna have to try harder than that.

    Answer to:

    1.OK. I get women who smile all the time. To me that’s just saying there friendly. Not interested.

    2.Um…No. That tells me nothing. Shes spooking me. Not good enough to let someone know.

    3 Your at lesson 3. Your completely skipped the fact that person is not sure of your interest. If that person is passing by in a store an you follow 1 and 2 that person will just smile back and walk away.

    You women need to know this. Guys do NOT know your intention. They think your being friendly to and not to do anything physical with you.
    Did you ever stop an think “How does a man approach you?”

    His breath may stink of his hair may be messed up but he doesn’t know that. He is INTERESTED in you. Now the first thing you as women normally do is say to yourself i don’t like this about them and how dare he approach me! Here’s the thing. If you walked up to a man and did the same things. There perspective is completely different.

    Men like women who show right off there interested in them.

    Try saying this when you see a man. (NOTE: it does not matter what your facial expression is.)
    1.Hi(or hello)…Can i talk too you for a second.

    2.Wow. your kind of cute.

    3.(Say Hello with a wave and smile with your head slightly bowed.) This shows respect to the targeted person as well as a friendly and cautious intent without being forceful.)

    4.Walking past or approaching a man ask when your looking for something in a store an don’t know where it is and that person seems interesting to you. You ask that person for help BUT you also while walking with him ask questions you would ask a normal person.

    Like do you come here often? Or Do you like it here? Or ask” So tell me what kind of (Product) do you think would be nice on me.

    There are other ways to show your interested. But there more direct asking the man would you be there boyfriend. Men are trained in this from childhood. They are not trained past this. You either force your interest on them or they don’t get it. Even simply telling them. Can i have a kiss. Or, i want you. Is a simple response any man can get.

    Think of it like this. A man is a Big child who only knows pain in there life’s. You show some happiness to them an they eat it up. They love being around someone who makes them happy.

    You can make them happy by smiling yes but they are not as interested in the smile as they are in your face. Your face attracts men. You could be 300 pounds an still attract a person based on your face alone.

    A better method is to get physical by asking them if you can hold there hand as they walk. This does not always work on oblivious men. For oblivious men. You grab there butts. Or Ask for a kiss. Or Put your breast against there backs. Basically physical contact. If you do not do this they most definitely wont know. The even more oblivious men you are direct with your words. Saying things that most of your perverted women say.

    But do not give mixed messages. Words with double meanings. A good example of that is. Saying “I would love to go downtown an have a cream soda.” I heard this on a TV show on sexual interest with coworkers.

    I had no idea what the hell she was saying. I though…So you want to go down town for sodas. I could go get one for you if that how bad you want them. See Oblivious. Mean don’t know what the hell your talking about. You have to make your words direct.

    The easiest one is inappropriate for this forum i believe. but it is ” I want to F%*&@@ you.” And yes that will do it for an oblivious man.

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