Relationship Advice

Keep the Fire Burning Beyond Valentine’s Day

If this Valentines Day is typical, the flower and candy industry will make up for most of their financial losses on this day. They will sell you every gift and teddy bear you can afford and in some cases can?t afford. However what they will not tell you is that by purchasing that candy, those flowers, that bear, you may in fact actually be destroying your relationship. It?s not that those things are not good, they are. The problem in so many relationships occurs a few weeks after Valentines Day. On Valentines Day, every woman observes what her husband or boyfriend is truly capable of romantically. The problem is that most men have no intention of keeping up that intensity level of romance. Why? Well, many men like feel as though it would be unreasonable to do so. For those men I offer 7 simple secrets to keep the fire in your relationship burning beyond Valentines Day.

Simple Secret # 1 – Ask the Everyday Question

Ask the average man if women talk too much and he will happily say, ?YES?. The truth is though; most men do not realize that a woman?s number two (2) need is communication. To keep the flame in your relationship burning, you must ask her to tell you about her day. Then shut up and listen?and listen?and listen?and listen.

Simple Secret # 2 – Answer the Everyday Question

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Okay men, now that you know that you must ask the everyday question, the next step is to be prepared to answer the everyday question. If communication is truly a deep need for the woman in your life, it means you must have something to contribute to the conversation. Inevitably after applying simple secret #1, you will hear something like, ?and how was your day?. The temptation is to simply say ?fine? or ?okay? however to keep the flame in your relationship burning, you must provide her with a detailed account of your day from the moment you woke up to the moment you returned home from work. This is hard for men I know but it must be done.

Simple Secret # 3 – Maintain a Steady Date Night

Listen up gentlemen. No woman dreams as a little girl that she will grow up to be a house wife that is taken for granted by her husband. She never wrote in her diary that her secret fantasy was to never see the inside of a nice restaurant except on her birthday, Valentines Day and her anniversary. To keep the flame in your relationship burning, you must establish with her and maintain a regular ?date night? each week. Work with her and identify an evening where you will go out as you once did long ago. No one else is allowed to participate and no one else is allowed to break the established day and time of date night.

Simple Secret # 4 – Put the Kids to Bed

Every woman I know gives a tremendous amount of energy to her kids, husband and job. As a man, you must be sensitive to the demands that are constantly placed on her. The average woman works between 15 and 17 hours per day. If you factor in the efforts getting the kids ready for school in the morning, working all day, then helping the kids with their homework, cooking and serving dinner then putting the kids to bed at night, you?ll see this fact to be true. To keep the flame in your relationship burning, at least once a week, take the initiative to get the kids ready for bed. Give them their bath, help them brush their teeth, read them a bedtime story, tuck them in and pray with them. Note: Your kids may be shocked at your presence during bedtime but don?t let that discourage you. Keep this up at least two (2) times a week.

Simple Secret # 5 – Invest in a Bottle of Bubble Bath

While you are putting the kids to bed, what might the woman in your life be doing? To keep the fire burning in your relationship, you must prepare a nice hot bubble bath. This will keep her in the bathroom away from the activities of the kids? preparation for bedtime. As the man, you must prepare the tub, add the bubbles and run the water. Do not let her do any of this. This way, you can chase the kids around the house and get them to bed before she gets out of the tub. Note: An advanced secret is that after her bubble bath, you offer her a massage.

Simple Secret # 6 – Clean Up After Yourself and the Kids

In my home, I fold clothes, wash dishes, vacuum, and make beds. Whatever it takes to lighten my wife?s load, I do. If your desire is to keep the flame burning in your relationship, you must find every opportunity to become a burden bearer for the special woman in your life. If you see the kids made mess in their room, don?t walk around it. Take the initiative to clean up any mess before your wife does. Practice uncommon cleanliness and watch the difference you?ll see in your relationship.

Simple Secret # 7 – Pay Attention

Men true romance has nothing to do with flowers or candy at all. In fact true romance can be summed up in one simple phrase. To women, true romance means simply that you as a boyfriend or husband are proactively meeting her unspoken needs. If you are serious about keeping the fire burning in your relationship, become a student of that woman. Discover all over again what she likes and doesn?t like. Could you go to a restaurant and order a meal along with desert for her without her being there to tell you what she wanted? As a child what did she always want to be when she grew up? Are you really paying attention to her? Begin to listen and take notes if you need to. Anticipate her needs, lighten her load and tell her how special she is to you. You do this and you will guarantee that the fire will continue to burn in your relationship long after Valentines Day.

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Brian Stephenson

Brian Stephenson is an author and coach who believes that any relationship can be radically changed for the better by applying simple techniques. He lives with his wife Jacqueline in Houston, Texas.

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