Dating Advice

How to Tell if Someone Likes You

There is no surefire, 100% guaranteed way to know if someone likes you as more than a friend.

Anyone who tells you otherwise is lying.

There are, however, certain signs you can look for that will give you a pretty good idea if your friend or acquaintance is interested in being more than friends.

1. Test his/her Personal Space

Everyone has something called “personal space”. It is like a bubble around us that we don’t like people trespassing into. If someone gets too close, we instinctively move away, and if they get too close again we move away again.

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When we are attracted to someone that bubble disappears. They can brush their thigh against ours while sitting close and we won’t jerk our leg away, they can stand close and we won’t step to the side, they can sit beside us on a long couch while watching a movie and we don’t ask them to move over.

We enjoy being close to those who we are attracted to and sometimes make excuses to do so.

So, the first step in gauging whether your friend is attracted to you is to get past their “personal space” and monitor their reaction.

If they move away, heed it as a warning and don’t try it again that day. Our personal space is a personal thing and many of us become annoyed if someone we aren’t attracted to repeatedly invades it.

You can try this several times (over several days) and if he or she continues to move away as if by reflex, chances are, they are not attracted to you. This is not to stop you from trying the next test another time.

2. Observe Their Body Language

Is your friend exhibiting flirtatious behavior with you? Do they find excuses to touch you, stand close, compliment you repeatedly on your appearance?

Do their pupils dilate when they see you? Science has found that our pupils dilate when we are looking at someone or something we are attracted to.

Watching out for flirtatious behavior is a good method, but it is probably the most unreliable of all that are listed. This is because some people are natural flirts, they flirt with everyone, including their friends.

Also, some people are very affectionate with their friends and that could be misconstrued as flirting.

3. Touch his/her Hand

Another way to gauge if someone is attracted to you is to deliberately touch, or almost touch their hand.

Try passing him or her something and hold it in a way that makes it difficult for them to take it without your hands touching. When they reach to take it, observe whether or not they expend any effort to touch the smallest surface area of your hand possible.

If they avoid touching your hand then it could mean that they want to avoid all physical contact with you. Take it as a good sign if they linger by your hand when they touch you. Better yet, are their hands sweaty?

You could also try placing your hand very near your friend’s hand and watch to see if they move theirs away.

If they are standing with a hand rested on a railing, stand next to them and rest your hand right beside theirs. If they are trying to program their DVD or Blue-ray player, help them and let your hand graze by theirs while you both play with the buttons.

It would usually be a bad sign if they retracted their hand completely.

4. Watch for Changing, or Strange Behavior

Does your friend seem unusually awkward or nervous around you? Are their hands shaky or sweaty? Do they avoid talking about other guys/girls, and seem very uninterested in hearing you talk about other guys/girls that you are interested in?

Are they suddenly complimenting you more than usual? Are they only letting their best side show? Is she spending more time getting ready than usual? Is he wearing his nicest clothes and cologne…things you’ve only see him do when going on a date with other women?

5. Listen to What they Say

It sounds like a no brainer, but I am telling you anyway because when we like someone we tend to ignore any signs that they don’t like us and really play up any signs that they do.

If your friend is saying things similar to those below then they may have picked up on your interest and are subtly hinting back that they aren’t interested in taking the friendship further.

“It is so nice to have a male/female friend who is just a friend.”

“I really like this guy/girl from work, we went out last night….”

“There is a new guy/girl at school who I am really interested in. Can you give me some advice on striking up a conversation?”

“I’m so glad we can just be friends without getting physically involved, I see so many friendships ruined because they crossed that boundary.”

“I have a friend who I’d like to set you up with, you guys would get along so well!”

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Alanna Brooks

Alanna is a freelance writer from Toronto, Canada. She is a regular contributer to and we love her honest, tell-it-like-it-is style!

7 thoughts on “How to Tell if Someone Likes You

  • My best girlfriend does this all the time. She knows what she is doing but she just enjoys flirting with no intention of getting with the guy (in anyway whatsoever). I think some girls are born to enjoy flirting.

  • The Person Whos Right

    Normally yes, but a girl who fringes at affection is not looking to get a another guys attention. Its a way of flirting, it has to be fun, not serious.

    Second of all theres a difference between a shy girl and a girl who’s emotionally unstable. The same way when you were three you would push the boy you liked, that kind of “safe” flirting has transformed into sitting, brushing, and to what most guys call teasing. It may be cause shes afraid of being rejected, thats fine, but it doesn’t dismiss that being playfully flirty like she is won’t help him.

    And third, just cause your a girl, Yes, Yes, Yes, a female! doesn’t veto the oppisote sex’s opinion. It may sway most men, Yes, Yes, Yes I am a male! but it is without logic or reason to think for a second that you know more about your own sex then the other does about yours. It is more common for a guy to know more about a girl and vice versa simply cause we spend so much more time observing the other.

    And too didi, theres not a whole lot to go on from what your saying, anything else, did it stop abruptly the texts or slowly, things like that can tell you if you guys just grew distant or if they stopped abruptly because something came into his head which could be fear of his own feelings or fear of yours.

  • You guys - don't have a clue

    Ok already! I hate to say it men, but you got it all wrong. It sounds to me like yes so does like you. Have you ever thought that she is not so sure just how you feel about her. None of us want to hit on someone and have them say no. If she sits on you lap and all that, she is testing the water, but not real secure in the situation. OR, you must have seen the OR to all this. You may be her friend, and just a friend, but she may be using to to attract others. Strange? Yes but true. She may in many ways be shy, but there is something with the friendship the two of you have that allows her frisky side to show and she may want for someone to see this in her. If you like her, maybe just tell her, or start to hint around about it. Yes, Yes, Yes, I am a female and have seen the gals play this one a time or two. Remember she is just as afraid of being rejected as you. So if she likes you she may need some signs! If she is looking for anothers attention through you, you will see that one also. At any rate good luck,

  • I have a male friend that we were really close and I like him. we used to hangout and text each other everyday. I don;t know why since school started this year, he just doesnt reply my text or hang out with me anymore. but everytime he saw me he would hug me and stuff and bought me a perfume for my christmas gift. so i am confused either he like me or not? so can someone please help me? and he said “I LOVE YOU” over the phone on his birthday night

  • The Person Whos Right

    Look first of all, mister bad ass player ( play the game ) doesn’t know his ass from his elbow, and shaun knows more then moron number one and less about the person answering the question.

    This man is not after &$**# hes after the girl, he likes her ok other wise he wouldnt be on, how to tell if she likes you, cause if he didnt like her, he wouldnt give a damn or say shes “fun” to be around.

    Honestly it is completly obivious that she likes you, teases dont tease guys they dont like. Understanding teases is the answer to getting her.

    1. They don’t like being hit on, they like to do the flirting, and shes hoppin on you, touching you, and basically asking you to get her naked, believe me hitting on her friend is not neccesary and has more of a chance backfiring on you then anything else.

    2. Being affectionate is not her fetish. Its about having something she can’t, literally teasing isn’t a personality trait, its a game she wants you to play. Girls like these do not enjoy romance, poetry, or how well you did on your last IQ test. They are self centered, under achievers or over project their physical traits.

    3. And finally grow some balls and the next time play the game, seriously shes trying to get a response out of you, like a child, and taking advantage of her “sluty” projections is actually going to make her feel cheap when really ” SHES JUST OBSESSED WITH FORPLAY “.

    So if you like her… which you do, try being more of a tease yourself instead of taking mister erections quickest way to get a snob to sleep with you to prove something to her less atrractive friend, and mister I avoid confrontations. I disagree, but dont have a better option so im not going to pick a fight.

  • Lester Wood

    I have this female friend who brushes up against me in a flirtasious way. When at parties sits on my lap. Will make sure that her breast are pressed up against my arm or hand in such a way that it’s by accident or just casual touch. But every time I try to approach her with some affection she pushes me away. Cant figure her out. Shes fun to be with and be around, but it’s getting old.

    I’d really like to know if she likes me or if she’s this way with everyone?

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