Are You Smooth, or a Sleaze?
A lot of guys, when they try to change their success with women, wind up going the wrong way. They pick out the wrong characteristics, never truly commit themselves to the characteristics anyway, and so come across as false and sleazy. The key to doing it RIGHT is all in the body.
How does a sleaze become a sleaze?
?Heeeey baby.?
When you picture a guy saying that, what do you see?
Let me guess ? some lounge lizard with a pencil moustache, a gold medallion bigger than a fist, and a SLEAZY smile.
Ugh. These are guys who?ve REALLY lost their way. That?s no way to get a girl.
But have you ever thought about WHY, exactly?
I mean, yeah, they obviously want to sleep with women. But that can?t be it ? if you?re a straight guy, then YOU do too. By definition, every man who ends up with a woman MUST want to be with her.
Well, what about the fact that these guys are so desperately OBVIOUS about it?
Now we?re getting warmer.
How about these guys immediately pigeonholing both themselves and the women around them as nothing more than meat?
Ah, yes. Add in that most of the sleaze is far from good-looking ? as most men are ? and you REALLY don?t want to get a woman thinking about you as nothing more than meat.
So why is it that the sleaze becomes, well, sleazy?
Start with a lot of failure (like most guys start with). Let that settle into insecurity. Which matures to desperation, and eventually the will to DO something.
Problem is, they end up doing the wrong thing. They see guys who are successful, and they MISUNDERSTAND what?s working. They see guys who are smooth, and they wind up doing an impression of smooth. A caricature really.
Why? Because they never really get it.
Unlike you, as of? NOW.
A comparison
Sleaze? tries to seem sexually comfortable by leaning in way too close.
Smooth? seems sexually confident by leaning back, not trying, not worrying about sex.
He knows he?ll have sex, whereas the sleaze acts like, well, he?s just not that sure.
Sleaze? tries to be so smooth, so slick, he winds up silently sneaking up on girls and scaring them, stalker-like.
Smooth? doesn?t try to be smooth, he just moves slowly, confidently, like a liquid.
Sleaze? tries to force himself into a woman?s field of view, into a conversation, into anything he thinks will get him closer to lady.{/josquote}
Smooth? doesn?t try to do anything like that. He simply acts in his usual manner, and let?s women notice him.
Speaking of which?
Sleaze? instantly ?turns on the charm? when he sees a target.
Smooth? doesn?t see ladies as targets, he treats them the way he would treat anyone else.
Sleaze? kisses ass and makes overly sexual and inappropriate remarks.
Smooth? teases and remains playful and non-threatening with his sexual innuendo.
Sleaze? leeches on to women until they have to slap him to get him away.
Smooth? gives a lady plenty of space ? so much so that SHE will often try and get HIS attention.
Sleaze? is just trying to have sex.
Smooth? is just having a good time. And that?s attractive.
Get the picture?
Do it Right, become true smooth
Alright, so how do you make sure you aren?t leaning into sleaze territory, but you ARE becoming a true Mr. Smooth?
Simple. Body language.
Really, that?s it.
The sleazy guy gets these good ideas from watching successful guys, but he thinks it?s about all sorts of other things ? words, aggressiveness, being sexual.
He has NO control over his body and all the TRUE signals it?s sending ? things which tip women off that this guy has NO idea what he?s actually doing.
In fact, the REAL reason these lizards come off like sleazeballs is because of the disconnect between how they act, how they speak, and how they move. Everything they do seems like a lie.
Whereas a man in control of his body language ? and I?m including other things in this phrase, like intonation and all sorts of other non-verbal cues we humans use in communication ? a man in control has no disconnect.
Body Congruity equals genuine
He is GENUINE. That?s why he could even say exactly the same thing as a lizard and get a kiss instead of a slap.
Because it?s that genuine feeling combined with attractive attributes that REALLY turn women on.
So let?s go through a quick primer ? what are the attractive attributes you need to internalize and make congruous throughout your being?
A couple examples
First, of course, is confidence.
This comes out in a number of ways. Walking with good tall posture. Doing EVERYTHING in a relaxed natural fashion ? not just your motions, but your speech.
Conversely, NOT doing things fast or herky-jerky, NOT speaking quickly or cracking your voice.
You?ve gotta lean back ? I mean that both literally like at a table, and figuratively like in a conversation. Leaning forward equals pursuing, while leaning back equals confidence that things will come to YOU.
Another thing ? comfort with sexuality. The sleazers live completely in the world if sex, but the problem is they aren?t really COMFORTABLE in that world. It?s like they?d be surprised if they ever actually got some.
A smooth guy, however, is living in the full world ? and bringing his powerful sexuality into it. This comes through in things like NOT being thrown into a different personality around beautiful women ? because you live in a world filled with beautiful women.
So you don?t always need to square up to them ? just having a hot bod doesn?t earn your attention. You need to see more.
Or never dropping your gaze while making eye contact ? which is all about confidence and sexual experience.
There are hundreds or thousands of important non-verbal cues which either say the right thing or the wrong thing ? and if you?ve never thought about them, chances are you?re saying the wrong thing.
Hell, even if you DO know them, chances remain good you aren?t ACTING on them.
If you want to not only know WHAT you should be saying and how you should be saying it, but also the BEST way to GET yourself saying it, in a natural way, then you should take a look at my book or CD series, ?Nonverbal Sexual Cuing.? In it, you can listen to me lay out, teach, and explain in just a few hours some of the most easily applied advanced concepts on body language available anywhere on meeting, attracting, and seducing beautiful women.
Regards,
Derek Vitalio
http://www.seductionscience.com
