Just for Men

Understanding Women

I firmly believe that some dating advice that carries the disclaimer “for entertainment purposes only” REALLY IS “for entertainment purposes only”. What’s more, some guys are perfectly okay with that. It’s enough for them.

After all, SAYING that one is acting on a desire to get better with women and going through the motions in a way that FEELS LIKE getting better with women is often A LOT safer than ACTUALLY DOING SOMETHING.

It’s potentially WAY less painful, also.

But lately it has occurred to me that there’s an EVEN MORE fascinating phenomenon out there that is potentially lulling guys into a “false sense of security” of sorts when it comes to improving our skills with women.

Learn the SecretHow to go down on a woman so she's begging for more!

Here it is: I think that a shockingly high percentage of men’s dating advice is built around the premise that men and women THINK ALIKE about dating and sex.

Moreover, we as guys tend to assume women think like WE DO rather than vice versa.

I mean, come on. It’s the easy road, after all. Understanding women is complicated if not altogether enigmatic to us.

Therefore, when someone comes along and gives us advice on how to handle women, and does so in a way that MAKES SENSE to a man, what happens?

You guessed itwe assume that if it MAKES SENSE to us, it must be accurate and effective.

There’s only one problem.

Women aren’t wired the way we are after all.

Sure, our basic emotional fabric, wants and needs are more similar than we often give credit for.

But nonetheless, what drives that which is feminine is VERY different than what motivates us as masculine men.

And for better at worse, it’s the DIFFERENCES between men and women that spark attraction. Therefore, the DIFFERENCES are indeed at the heart of dating advice in general.

I’ll give you a primo exampleone that could transform how you look at dating/seduction advice from this moment forward if you let it sink in.

Here goes

One of THE most repeated themes in the Seduction Community is the concept of how attractive women can select their sexual partners at will while “rejecting” all others.

Meanwhile, so the story goes, we as guys are left to compete against the herd for the right to “mate” with a desirable female.

Elaborate comparisons are often made with what goes on elsewhere in the animal kingdom.

Bighorn sheep butting heads. Alpha wolves slaughtering the young of competing males. Big bad Black Widow spiders of the female persuasion gobbling up their puny male mates right after intercourse.


Basically, the message is, “Women are the lucky ones. They can get laid’ whenever they want, and casually reject guys right and left until they get to the one they want.”

Us guys? We either become “more alpha”, or we die virgins or something.

Guess what? That’s how WE AS GUYS THINK, because it’s WE who are motivated by sexual conquest.

Now sure, SOME women do indeed wield tremendous sexual power. And yes, they really do “reject” countless guys who want to “mate” with them.

At least that’s how WE perceive the universe.

But here’s the thing. You should see the e-mails Emily and I get from women.

They’ve got dating challenges of their own. And they think all the GUYS are in control when it comes to dating.

Perhaps you’re thinking that we must be getting e-mails from all the less-than-attractive women out there who lack in the “sexual power” department.

Au contraire.

Sometime when you’re bored at work, hit up our Facebook group and surf through some of the hotties who have accepted Emily’s invitation and are ALL ABOUT going from “good” to “great” with guys.

Their challenges? They read like this: “I date a bunch of guys and they only want one thingsex. When will I find a guy who will love me and want to commit to me?”

We have NEVER (as in NEVER, EVER) received a single e-mail from a woman who was concerned about “getting laid” enough.

And it’s not because every woman has ultimate “choosing” power over guys in that area.

And for the record, it’s also not because women don’t like sex.

It’s because they DON’T THINK LIKE A MAN DOES.

So the best dating advice to guys who want to get better with women is NOT to try to figure out how to get a woman to “select” you as her sex partner.

Instead, if you THINK IN TERMS OF WHAT WOMEN WANT, you’ll realize that the man who represents who a woman wants to fall in love with and commit to is the guy who will TRULY succeed.

Does all this still seem a bit cryptic to you? Looking for a clearer indication that I’m on to something here?

Look no further than the WOMEN’S dating advice market. Because they do the EXACT SAME THINGin reverse.

Women “dating gurus” tend to talk to women as if we as men think like they do.



Because it makes sense to women, of course.

Women want a man to commit to them instead of “using them and leaving them”.

So what’s the best advice? Simple: follow “The Rules” designed to cajole a man into committing before you give him anything he wants.

The reality? Any self-respecting guy, such as yourself, isn’t going to fall for it.

Show me a woman who UNDERSTANDS that men want a woman who actually LIKES MEN, follows a worthy man’s lead, basks in her own femininity and heaps unsolicited approval on the deserving man in her lifeand I’ll show you the woman who has guys FALLING ALL OVER THEMSELVES to put a ring on her finger.

Why is that?

SimpleSHE KNOWS HOW MEN THINK, and represents what they want.

Can you make the extra effort to discover more about how women think?

If so, can you believe that it will pay off?

Can you trust that women REALLY DO follow a man’s lead, therefore when you represent what THEY want they GLADLY reciprocate by giving you what YOU want?

I realize this is circuit-frying knowledge. But I also suspect that deep down you know there is real truth at the foundation of what I’m sharing with you.

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Scot McKay

Scot McKay is a professional dating and relationship coach, author and podcast host. He founded X & Y Communications in San Antonio, TX, which focuses on equipping and empowering men and women who want to go from good to great in their relationships. Scot is now married to his wife Emily.

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