How to Get Her in the Mood

Sexperts claim that it takes about three minutes for the typical man to get in the mood. If, during any three random minutes, he sees a picture of a naked woman, thinks about a naked woman, or crawls into bed with a naked woman, he’s hotter than The Everglades in August.

For the typical woman, however, the story is much different. It takes about 24 hours of romantic foreplay for a woman to become aroused. By foreplay, I’m not talking about hugging, kissing, and caressing-although all of that is perfectly fine, especially during the final few minutes of the 24-hour period. No, I’m talking about Random Acts of Sexiness, which are all of the things that a man can do to make his woman feel loved, accepted, important and, most important, sexy.

The problem is, plenty of unsexy things can take place during any typical 24-hour period, which is why sex often goes the way of the flat tummy in so many long-term relationships. How do you get your guy to perform more Random Acts of Sexiness and fewer Random Acts of Sex Sabotage? Here’s one word of free marriage advice: communication. Tell him what you want, and what you don’t. To make it easier for you, I’ve compiled numerous Random Acts of Sexiness and Random Acts of Sex Sabotage below. Hand over this article and let him read it. You’ll be well on your way to a sexier sex life.

Acts of Sexiness

• Texting “I love you” just because.
• Doing the dishes for no other reason than the fact that he noticed them sitting in the sink.
• He eats whatever you’ve made for dinner and declares it a 5 star gourmet creation that the world’s pickiest eaters would all adore.
• One of your kids wakes in the middle of the night from a nightmare. He says, “You stay in bed. You need your rest. I’ll take care of this.”
• He rubs your feet, without expecting a foot rub (or any other kind of rub) in return.
• He borrows your car, notices you only have a quarter tank left of gas, and fills it for you.
• He sees a pile of letters sitting on the kitchen table. He takes them to the post office, without being asked.
• He whistles when he sees you getting dressed or undressed.
• He asks you to turn around, so he can get a better look at all that your beautiful body has to offer.
• He hears you cursing at your computer. He walks over, rubs your back, and asks if there’s anything he can do to help.
• He notices you brooding. He asks if you’d like to talk. He pours you a glass of wine, turns off the TV, and listens attentively.
• He brings you your coffee or tea in the morning.
• He has a random day off. He spends half of it cleaning the house and the other half fixing everything that’s broken.
• You get dressed up for a special occasion. He tells you he’s never seen you looking more beautiful.

Acts of Sex Sabotage

• You are cooking dinner. He says, “Don’t you think the burner is on too high? I think you’re going to burn it again.”
• He leaves his empty beer bottle by the recliner.
• Your favorite show is on, but he refuses to watch anything other than the fishing channel, even though it’s a rerun.
• He makes any type of sarcastic or hurtful comment about how you look or about something you say, wear, make for dinner, or do.
• He’s in the mood, so he starts to rub your thigh with his hand.
• He’s in the mood, so he crawls on top of you in bed and tries to pull down your panties while you sleep.
• He stinks.
• He passes a violent amount of gas, and then he asks whether you’d like to have sex.
• You tell him that you have a really big problem at work and need someone to talk to. He says, “Sure in a second. It’s almost half time.”
• He leaves the toilet seat up, so you fall in and get your butt wet in the middle of the night.
• You order dessert. He says, “I thought you were trying to lose weight.”
• He’s late, and he doesn’t bother to call. You mention it later, and he says, “Do you have to be such a ball and chain?!”
• He makes a comment about another woman’s boobs, butt, or other random body part.
• You get dressed up for a special occasion. He says, “That dress makes you look fat. Do you have something else to wear?”